Vulnerability is contagious.

I have been listening to Christian radio exclusively and it has begun to drive my kids a little crazy. One  song that I really enjoy is one by Matthew West and is titled “Truth be Told”. It speaks about how when so many of us are asked how we are doing, rather than straight up sharing the truth, we share what is safe and just say things are “fine” or “okay".  

I have been doing that for years now when asked about how I have been doing. Deep down inside, I knew things weren’t really fine or okay. I have had sins I was afraid to deal with or simply didn’t know  how to deal with. My marriage wasn’t all that great and I struggled to prioritize time with my kids. Then circumstances dramatically changed and I was forced to be a single dad. I felt like if I believed this Jesus  stuff, I had to invite it to creep into every aspect of my life. What I was doing clearly wasn’t working.  

A big step of this was learning to open up about my faults. I started to open up more with close friends and slowly learned to open up more in the different Christian small group communities I was in. I eventually even opened up more with my Facebook friends. I realized I don’t have to act like I have life all together. Right now, I certainly don’t.  

The cool part about learning to be more vulnerable around people is that it can be contagious. On the day I am writing this, I had to go purchase some supplies for an art project and needed a co-worker to drive his truck since I had sold mine. On our drive there, we are talking about our lives and I was sharing openly and honestly about some of the ways I failed in my marriage. What happened next surprised me.  He shared more openly and honestly about his marriage and some of the struggles he has had over the  last 5 plus years. Then after sharing, he tells me he hasn’t shared that with anyone else, ever. I was the  first. In my mind I was thinking what if I didn’t take that time to be more open with him. It was certainly risky, but boy was it worth taking that risk. 

It makes me sad to know how so many of us go through life not sharing what is really going on. I want so badly for my co-worker to learn to have that challenging conversation with his wife to get some of his concerns out in the open. But I also fear for him in that his wife might not listen and extend grace. They both know the Lord, but sharing such deep intimate thoughts is so risky.  

My prayer for our church is that we can be both people who are willing to be more vulnerable and allow people to see our personal brokenness, but also that we would be a people that are quick to extend  grace and mercy to those that choose to open up and share what is really going on. I believe both of  these things are so valuable and important in relationships.  

I believe God showed us the ultimate model of vulnerability in his sending His Son to earth to live among us, allowing Himself to suffer in many of the same ways we do, even to the point of taking on all of our sins and brokenness and taking it to the cross. He not only loves us dearly, He really knows what it is like  to be in a broken world, making Him even more relatable to us.  

My hope is that we can be more transparent with each other and be quick to extend grace and mercy to  those we are in relationship with.  

Matt Orlob